Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?

FullSizeRender (1)

Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?

It’s been a while. I’m still alive.

Very much so: I started a new job, tried to buy a house, aborted said house plan, rented another, moved and started another brand new shiny job.

Would all major life events please form an orderly queue? One at a time, please.

My hair is a bit grayer and my eyes a more tired, but onward.

It will be much too complicated (read, boring) to detail the two-jobs-in-four months deal, but I will say that both have been huge blessing, both coming at the exact time. And my previous employer understood exactly why I had to leave to take my current job. I had to leave because I had to write.

And that’s the bottom line of it all. I spend most of every day writing and telling stories. I talked to a lovely lady today, tomorrow I’ll chat with another person with another interesting story. Hopefully the next day and the next and the next as well.

I’ve been writing, but just not here.

I’ve been reading, but not as much as I would like.

I’ve seen friends, but am trying to have fewer calendar commitments.

I am resting. I am sitting on my porch and watching it rain. I am running the Swamp Rabbit Trail. I am refocused on eating well and discovering what my body needs to function correctly. I’m going to bed and waking early.

This is a very different season than the past.

I am also trying to figure out how to seek the Lord in a time of abundance.  I haven’t prayed the desperate if-you-don’t-come-through-Lord-I-won’t-make-it prayers in quite some time.

Pause: I wrote those words about a month ago. A week ago, things changed a bit.

My company with the better-than-I-could-dream job and team announced they are closing their doors and I am praying desperate prayers again. I cringed when I opened indeed.com and LinkedIn. My heart’s not there. My head a little too stunned.

Closing announcement day I did what I’ve so many times before and went to Katelyn’s house. This time to hold Ruby, this time with two precious ladies to be the exact company needed.

“This time is different because you are different, ” Katelyn said.

She’s right. I’m not the same person I was when I was last unemployed and I’ve decided it is ok to declare that small fact over this season. Before as I was job searching, I would quickly apply to anything and everything even if I knew the role wasn’t for me. By God’s grace most would not call back, but still. There was a frantic, anxious spirit coming from a place of lack. I was either shaking all over or catatonic from the stress of it all.

But then I would pray and sometimes things changed and sometimes I changed. Every time, I would have peace.

I am starting there this time. I’ve seen deliverance and provision. I’m am where I am because of massive amounts of faith dumped into my heart when I had exactly none to give or use.

I do not believe we move backward. I know what I can and cannot do. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know how to lay every dream bare and pray that it would be fulfilled or changed.

So here we are. I have no idea what’s next. But I do know provision, faith, peace.

We will just start from there.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s